– Luke 6:38
In Reply To
Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full---pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.
I started to type the blog I wrote the other night on relationships, parenting and God but I’m feeling pulled into another direction tonight. Don’t worry though, it is 99 % finished and I will type it soon. Tonight I just wanted to share what brought me back to writing in my blog again. I have heard the verse above a few times but it didn’t make an impact like it did the past week. I had been going through a rough patch in my spiritual journey. Work was getting to be a bit much on the stress level. I felt like I had no energy, no motivation, no time for my children, my husband or myself and what I did have time for, my attention wasn’t really there. I was going through the motions without any emotions. Been there? Usually I can pick up a bible study by one of my favorite speakers, listen to the Cd or just do some of the workbook and I can feel God speaking to me. It’s like when you are sitting in church and the message is so clear to you that it’s like God is only talking to you! After the sermon, you turn to your family or friends and ask what they got out of the sermon. They didn’t really get anything or they heard something so different that if they weren’t sitting next to you, you would think they were in another church service. Well, I did it several different times and nothing. I started getting discourage and alone. I started to wonder if I ever get that feeling of being in conversation with God again! I sat on my bed that night with my Bible in my hand and the Beth Moore bible study on “James.” I was bounded and determine I was going to figure it out. Then it hit me, what was it that I battled the most with at the present time? Ok! So we don’t have enough time for that list but the thing that hit me first and always the hardest is my relationship with my kids and my husband. I wanted to change. I wanted my children to know God and I wanted to give them the best of me because they deserved it! Same with my husband. I remembered a book I had bought from Lifeway by the makers of Courageous “The Resolution for Women.”
Resolution: the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc. ; the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.
Wow! Really? The first page got my attention right from the start. As I read thru to page 27, I was drawn further and further into the book. I have read and done my share of devotionals and all of them had touched me and brought things out in my own self that I had not realized. Along with learning more about God, they brought me closer and gave me the longing to want to know more. However every page I read, I felt as though I was having my own little conversation with God once again. It was close to every aspect of my life I was currently battling with from page 3 stating, “First, this resolution is with God,” to “Second, this resolution will impact the people you love.” The page ended with, “Sometimes the greatest miracle of all is the one that happens in your own heart, the change that takes place in you and then surprises you as it filters into the seams and fabric of your whole life.”
It goes on to point out another important aspect of my life that hit home that got me into my “new Season.” One of my complaints is I never have enough time to just pause and enjoy my kids. Why?
I never could stop long enough to figure out why as crazy as that may sound! The author, herself admits that she too had not really been in attendance for a large portion of her own life. I had not really thought about until then but maybe that why this particular season of life is hitting me so hard. How many times have I heard from people I know, “Wow, they grew up way to fast!” If you really think about it time hasn’t changed, one year 30 years ago is the same as one year today. We have changed. I am always on the go. She makes the point about her own self, “I’m constantly overeager to get to the next thing, which looks more enticing than what is currently before me. I’m rarely satisfied in full with my present station.” What really hit my heart hard was this: “Only for these fleeing moments would my children talk, look and act exactly like this. And if I chose to hurry through them in an attempt to avoid the parts I didn’t like, I’d simultaneously miss all the things I did like about this season.” Tears streamed down my eyes as I replayed over and over in my head how many times I hurried through giving them a bath because I was tired, or I had something else to do that seemed at the time much more important to only me to get done. Keep in mind, I do have problems with OCD and up until recently, you couldn’t get in my house with it being messy unless you lived here. I have gotten a lot more relaxed with that lately. I had been so selfish with my time. The girls love to be read too and I love to read to them but I couldn’t get past the dirty living room, or clothes on the floor to actually sit down and read to them. My husband just wanted time with me to cuddle and watch a movie but I was way too busy to stop cleaning or folding clothes to enjoy him. No wonder I couldn’t feel God when I sat down to read my devotional. I need that quick fix to get through the next couple of days. Come on, God! Why can’t I feel your presence? Don’t you know, it’s all about me and what I want?
Then I pick up a book off my shelf in my closet that I bought three months ago, I pray before I start reading to please let me hear you once again. I need my quick fix because I’m dying on the inside. I read 27 pages, glued to every page. On the 23rd page I read:
Luke 6:38 Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full---pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.
I had stopped giving and started taking and taking without giving back. No wonder I had not heard God. No wonder my life was flashing by me so fast. I have to admit, not for brownie points or anything like that, but I do have a wonderful, caring and attentive husband. I’ve been told that a lot through the years from people I just met, friends and family. It’s funny because I’d get jealous at what people saw in Jon’s eyes as he looked at me because I couldn’t see it until now. I was too busy coming up with what bothered me more than having time to see what they saw. It made me wonder if I did the same with my children, friends and family. If I did, I’m sorry.
And, finally one last tid-bit then I’ll say good bye for the night! I have ended up reading to page 87 so far. I am now writing again because of what I read on pg 58 and the assignment it gave me on pg 59. I had stop writing because I felt scared and that I had no business writing anything about the Bible or anything concerning it. Then I read this: “ I frequently feel the same way—wishing I had more depth or creativity like I’ve admired in some else. And yet others have had to remind me of the same thing I wrote back to this young lady: some readers will only hear, understand, and accept certain things when they read it in your words, from your perspective, written in your voice. We were each created by God to do our part. And if we fail to do it because we don’t think it’s valuable enough, great loss will be suffered. Someone, somewhere, needs you---in all of your uniqueness---to step up to the plate of your calling.”
My assignment was to consider the things you may have failed to do because you felt unworthy to do. Choose one and start doing it this week.
God is so GREAT!!!
Have a great day!
The reward for obeying Jesus’ command to love your enemies, do good and lend without expectation… repayment will be great, though much of it will not be in this life. But your selfless love will reflect that you are sons/daughters of the Most High. He is gracious and merciful to all people and disciples of Jesus are to follow His example. (Luke 6:38;word studies; HCSB)
Luke 6:38 NLT